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The Cricket Team That Wrote Everything: Seven Factoids About the Allahakbarries

Mr. Peter Pan himself, J.M. Barrie, started up a cricket team with his buddies A.A. Milne, Arthur Conan Doyle, H.G. Wells, Jerome K. Jerome, G.K. Chesterton, P.G. Wodehouse, and a bunch of other folks who were no literary slouches themselves. This sounds like the beginning of a very witty literary joke, but it actually happened.

They were terrible at cricket. They called themselves the Allahakbarries, which they thought meant “God help us” (they were terrible at Arabic, too). Along with Peter Pan, Winnie the Pooh, Sherlock Holmes, and Bertie Wooster, these gentlemen were also responsible for the following delightful stories:

1) J.M. Barrie wrote a book about the cricket team and dedicated it ′To Our Dear Enemy Mary de Navarro′ — an American actress who had bowled him out.

2) A.A. Milne based Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, Piglet, Kanga, and Roo on his son’s real stuffed toys. He made up Rabbit and Owl.

The original Winnie the Pooh toys

And Roo got lost.
Kanga doesn’t like to talk about it.

3) Arthur Conan Doyle was the only one on the team who played cricket at all well. He was also quite skilled at football and golf. His last words were “You are wonderful.” He was speaking to his wife.

4) H.G. Wells had an open marriage. Among his mistresses were feminists Margaret Sanger and Rebecca West.

Correa-Martians vs. Thunder Child - no border

MORE WOMEN! NEED MORE WOMEN!

5) Jerome K. Jerome’s adventures in Three Men in a Boat were based in part on a real boat trip down the Thames — but it wasn’t a trip Jerome took with childhood friends George and Harris. It was his honeymoon.

6) G.K. Chesterton was a gigantic guy and walked around in a cape carrying a swordstick. P.G. Wodehouse once described a huge crashing noise as “a sound like Chesterton falling onto a sheet of tin.”

7) P.G. Wodehouse knew how to take criticism gracefully. Upon the release of his novel Summer Lightning, he wrote:

A certain critic—for such men, I regret to say, do exist—made the nasty remark about my last novel that it contained ‘all the old Wodehouse characters under different names’. He has probably by now been eaten by bears, like the children who made mock of the prophet Elijah.

Bears savaging the youths from a French Manuscript

And let that be a lesson to him.

2 thoughts on “The Cricket Team That Wrote Everything: Seven Factoids About the Allahakbarries

  1. Pingback: Weekly Links Roundup 9/13 « Two Wrongs and a Write

  2. Not aware that “god” has any laws. I was just angry at her repeated “what’s wrong with that then? What’s wrong with that then?” every time she sited a “commandment”. The Mosaic comdanmments are so evidently the hysterical drivel of a mad desert people (my own people as it happens) that they don’t deserve the dignity of anything other than anthropological curiosity and amused contempt. They have no more moral authority than any other set of preposterous, ill-thought out and inconsequential assertions. Besides how dare a “loving” creator be so arrogant and egotistical as to create a race of beings and then boss them about with these ludicrous “commandments”. I mean, frankly.It’s not what’s wrong with the comdanmments —insistence on being worshipped, (you’re the supreme being for heaven’s sake, you need to be worshipped???) obsession with property, bracketing women with asses and oxen, and all the rest of the otherwise tediously obvious statements about the wrongness of theft and murder which ALL cultures have and will always have without the unnecessary invention of any “god”— no, those are bad enough, it’s the comdanmments that are MISSING. No mention of the wickedness of cruelty, exploitation, torture or abuse … all vices cheerfully condoned and practised by the old testament deity as capriciously and viciously as by any other tinpot tyrant. No mention of tolerance, decency, kindness, openness, freedom all qualities actively disdained by that entity. Oh, it’s so self-evident that the decalogue is absolutely no basis for any kind of law, moral, theological, social, political or any other kind. Dozens of world religions have infinitely better, smarter, kinder precepts. And more importantly, all the laws we need for our world to work have developed out of humanism and the enlightenment, in reaction against precisely the kind of absurd nonsense that ecclesiasticism and the tyranny of revealed religion promulgated for centuries. The 10 Commandments have encouraged in their name torture and obscene cruelty, and they have endorsed and propped up censorship, opposition to freedom of assembly, freedom of speech, freedom of thought even. They are useless practically, morally, ethically, socially, politically and even theologically.Incidentally, she interrupted me a great deal more than I did her. Hitchens and I were edited to look intolerant. I only agreed to do the interview because I felt guilty at what an unholy (in every sense) idiot she made of herself in the debate on catholicism that preceded that interview. Well, she got her revenge by making us look like the intolerant ones. But we don’t preach intolerance, she and her church most specifically do. I’m tired of being expected to show “respect” for these odious, creepy and preternaturally stupid people and their “beliefs”. Enough, already. Let’s just grow up, shall we?

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